Case Study: Helping My Beloved Bud Cross Over (As Told by Student Debbie Decker)

Deb Decker shared this incredible story of love and healing for her kitty as he transitioned. It is so true that our connection to them helps them as they move from this plane to the other. And the blessing of being able to stay connected to them in a healthy way really is the best of the best. Thank you Deb for sharing this wonderful story!  Carla

"When Bud--my beloved international-winning Havana Brown show cat that I helped bring into this world--was diagnosed with liver failure, I worked very hard with Carla and my holistic vet to first try and heal him. But the damage to his liver was too great from the tainted food he ate (it was kitten food on the Menu Food recall) despite his young age.

We all knew that he would soon leave us and I had one choice: to help make Bud's transition as peaceful as possible for him, and with as little guilt on my part for not being able to save his life.

Bud was what I called an "ugly ducking". I was there with Bud when he was born on September 3, 2006. From day one I started to talk with the babies (six little brown kittens!) and found that each had it's own "voice". Bud was the shy one who ended up displaying his "Siamese roots" by eating holes in my wool yoga blanket, toys and other non-cat-food items. While the others went off to either a show home or pet home, I had Bud--who was a roly poly "ugly duckling". He was short-legged and had a round little belly. Now looking back we know it was the food that bloated out his liver. When the food recall was announced to my horror I had the packets of food with the tainted lot number. This was the type of kitten food I raised his mother on so my litter was raised on it too. He was a picky little cuss - except for his taste in wool, string and hair - so the only thing he would eat was the pouch food. In other words, his poor liver was getting nothing but poisons when I thought he was getting a nourishing diet.

After he got off the food, he slimmed down into a "gorgeous swan" and soon became the youngest of his breed to claim the # 1 alter worldwide! And then while at the large international show, he got sick. And it was down hill from there.

It was through journeying that I learned from Carla at workshops that I was able to help Bud--and myself!--to get through all of this. I always journeyed with Bud before a show, and sometimes during a show if I felt he had a "question" or needed some help with a situation (i.e. a cat at the show, a judge, maybe that new fangled toy he saw!). He was really a funny little boy. A true showman....and a diva! He won the hearts of many judges, breeders and exhibitors. Oh, and spectators too. We'd be at a show and he'd say in his cute little voice "what is up with that cat crying?" So journeying with him as a kitten had allowed us to have an open communication during his (short) life. And that also allowed us to move through his illness, and eventual transition.

When we realized he would not make it, I journeyed to help him with this. He was young, and he loved his mama Gwendolyn so much. He didn't want to leave me either. But he sure didn't want to leave his mom. Gwendolyn, Prissy (an old dog that had passed away years ago) and Spatz (my first cat that Carla met!) were there to help out. Bud was not ready, and it took a while for him to realize that his life on earth was really meant to be short, and he had bigger things to do once he crossed over.

Three days before he was to pass away, I heard him clickity clack into the office (I didn't trim his nails at the end...why?) and then his sweet voice say "I know it's almost time..." then he jumped into the window and watched the Blue Jays and Cardinals eating suet and seed. He turned his big eyes at me and said "I love you, and I'm ready."

The morning of December 6, 2007 I woke up. He was in his bed, but I could tell he was not doing well. So I put him on the bed...Gwen crawled up next to him and started to bathe him...and I put my hand on his side and started to journey. We called circle and not only did my power animals come in, but his angels, guardian spirits and power animals came in too. And then my cats and dogs who had passed over, including his three sisters who had died at the ages of 3-7 days. His sisters were crystal keepers and they brought a gorgeous crystal for Bud. Prissy -- my old Schipperke who was so fat she had to have a Mallard duck to fly around on in the heavens--brought the mate to her duck for Bud to ride when he was ready to cross over. Spatz was there to help along with my grandmother. And Butch, my old Angora who was a head in the crystal palace, showed Bud that he was to do healing work on animals, and help lost animals get home. He had a wonderful mission ahead of him. And as Butch said with his Cheshire smile "You'll be the best cat in the biggest cat show ever!"

With that I heard a long sigh....and I opened my eyes to see Bud gone. I wrapped him up, held him, blessed him, and told him to soar on the back of his new winged friend and I would see him. (Spatz also informed me Bud would go through a 14-day transition period so he could adjust to his new role and spiritual body.)

Although I still miss the little diva....by journeying from the first sign of illness through his transition, I know that Bud has a bigger role to play. He has shown me his healing work and it's funny to hear Prissy (who still works with him) jump his butt because he's just doing a young brash "kid thing". I know I now can call on Bud to help out at the shows (he still comes and hangs out and calms his mom down if she's in the ring) and he has even helped me and the other cats and dogs.

Knowing he is happy, and is playing a role in helping others, has given me a sense of peace. I didn't carry--nor do I carry--the guilt that I fed him food (that I thought was good for him! who knew it was poison for my baby?) I still cry at times, don't get me wrong! But the minute I do I think "why?" and then I'll hear him say "because you like to stroke my chin".

So you know what I do? I close my eyes, and meet him in our favorite place next to a gorgeous, babbling stream....and I stroke his chin."